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Saturday, August 28, 2004 Uncertainty (or, Life Doesn’t Come With A Rule Book)
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." ~ Helen Keller "Obstacles cannot crush me; every obstacle yields to stern resolve." ~ Leonardo da Vinci "When all else is lost, the future still remains." ~ Christian Bovee "Experience is the hardest kind of teacher. It gives you the test first, and the lesson afterward." ~ Anonymous "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome." ~ Isaac Asimov To be totally honest, this is not the column I have been working on for over a week. But, due to (as they say) "circumstances-beyond-my-control," it is the one that begged to be written. I'm being totally bombarded from all sides with stressors that are seriously testing my fortitude and, at times, my sanity. To further perpetuate my sense of helplessness, here's what my horoscope had to say today:
If I'm SO ready for whatever comes next, why do I feel the need for a long primal scream, followed by major pharmaceuticals, to get me through the next several weeks/months that are looming ahead? Just three short days ago, life -- although not perfect -- was not such a bad proposition. It held some amazing prospects ahead (an upcoming move to an 1898 Victorian farmhouse with plenty of acreage, some exciting travel plans, some reconnecting with old friends, a Summer filled with new adventures that were sure to bring much writing and photography fodder, leisure activities only constrained by my choices of when/where to indulge in them, and no worries over the issues that many people do worry about -- such as steady income, financial security, health insurance, a decent retirement, investment options, etc.). Now, within the blink of an eye, my world has been turned upside-down, and I could be facing a complete change in the lifestyle to which I've grown accustomed. I (like many) do not deal well with situations-beyond-my-control, and that is EXACTLY what I currently find myself in. The situations that will ultimately affect my immediate, and long-term, existence are, in essence, basically out of my control. My personality is such that I cannot deal with others having an ability to disrupt my life and completely alter my life-path and (not-so-perfect, but reasonably enjoyable) existence with no ability on my part to stop the destruction. My life (as some who have read some of my earlier columns already know) hasn't been all Cinderella/Fairytale perfection . . . so, to have what I consider a reasonably acceptable existence threatened is NOT an acceptable option -- yet -- how do I re-gain control over a situation that is beyond my control? Some may be speculating over what these disruptions may be . . . it isn't something that can be easily explained. In fact, it isn't even something that I am at a point where I can fully understand myself at this point in time, so it would be futile to try to "put into words" some type of explanation, as it would be impossible to communicate the depth or magnitude of the situation that lies before us. It isn't divorce, or the loss of a job, or anything that "neatly" falls into that Life Stressors List but, instead, is a weird combination of things that could dramatically impact (and drastically reduce) annual household income, current employment, future employment, choice of vocation (present and future), living arrangements including city and state, and a wide variety of other factors as well. Perhaps I should read this article more closely Identifying and Reducing Stress in Your Life to see if I can find some relief by "identifying" the stress. Maybe if I can give it a name, I can better fight it??? Deep breathing isn't helping. Yoga isn't helping. Meditation isn't helping. Exercise isn't helping. Eating right and reducing sugar, junk food, etc. isn't helping. Yes, I'm praying. Yes, I've telephoned my minister father and asked him to do the same. Yes, I've telephoned my therapist and asked him to talk to my husband. Yes, I've lit candles and asked for guidance from all around me. My s.o. is asking advice from all of his friends and relatives, and "listening" for Divine Guidance from Above in any situation that he feels the Guidance is being spoken to him. In my opinion, I think he is only "muddying-the-waters" by too much conflicting input . . . but what do I know??? Please, just don't let me return to an OLD bad habit … stress-eating, because that would be the (pardon-the-pun) icing on the cake of my stressor-filled life right now - STRESSED, and a BLIMP! I am going to "attempt" to end this column on a UP note . . . "For everything there is a season, And a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; A time to seek, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to throw away; A time to tear, and a time to sew; A time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate, A time for war, and a time for peace." ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 And, "If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies." ~ Unknown Now, if I could just possess the magic that Dorothy Gale had -- I would close my eyes, and click the heels of my ruby-red slippers together three times and say, "There's no place like home, There's no place like home, There's no place like home!" Originally published Wednesday April 16, 2003 (bw) 2003 © Copyrighted Materials - All Rights Reserved. Susan Reno-Gilliland A Southern Belle's Life # posted by Kitty : 6:52 PM
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"a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma" --- Miss Kitty, an Irish lass, a true Southern Belle; writer, photographer, artist, interior designer, animal-lover, dreamer, stargazer, cop-groupie, 70's junkie, cbc, slightly obsessive iNFp with stories to tell! ... (fascinated by forensics, human behavior, pushing all the right buttons of men she finds interesting, and seeking utterly-sweet revenge without any repercussions. ) --- "Darlin', don't ever take a Southern woman for granted!" [tm] Feeling the uncontrollable urge to shower me with gifts?!? Check out my Amazon 
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